No Seriously, Look at my Fucking Striped Shirt. Look at It.

I love Thursday mornings. Not because they are spent arranging my plans for the weekend (yes I am that anal retentive about my weekend plans) nor because, having picked up my dry cleaning every Wednesday, I get to choose from my fresh array of shirts and dresses for work. No, it is because the New York Times finally updates their Style section.

The Style section is a formidable car wreck, and seems to be ruled by some equation that makes sense only to green living, style obsessed yuppies with Hamptons houses and a homosexual brother planning his nuptials in Cape Cod this June. Thus the features are often one part Marc Jacobs, one part special on Canoes and Hiking Gear, one part "See how unbelievably attractive gay couple x transformed their East Hampton barn into a Grecian Retreat, outfitted by Donatella Versace and Tory Burch." Naturally, there's always a "new trends" section thrown into the mix. I must say, they really go out on a limb with these trends. "Florals for spring!" " Women now wear dresses!" "People ride bikes in New York!" The novelty is breathtaking.

Well today they've outdone themselves, ladies and gentlemen. In a feature just about as earth shattering as that guy you met at that Benefit last week, you know the one, the one who was wearing the navy blazer with the gold buttons? Yeah him. Unforgettable right? Sort of like today's column. On Striped Shirts.

Did you guys know this? That striped shirts were back for guys? OMFG I didn't either! The picture features a guy in a blue striped shirt with a white collar- imagine that! A white collar! (So Gordon Gekko!) The article goes on. They interview a man who praises the blue striped shirt for its ability to go with both a suit and jeans. HIs excitement was palpable. I nearly got riled up for him thinking about all the options he has for getting dressed "Bengal or pencil stripe?" The mind boggles.

Nytimes Style Section, I really want to know, have you ever dated a Euro? Or a banker trying to affect the look, for that matter? Have you ever even passed by Cipriani on a semi-nice day? Seriously, put that coffee down and listen to me. A striped shirt with a nice cuff is par the fucking course.

What really got me was when the article pointed out that wearing a blue striped shirt is all very reminscint of JFK. When they bust out the JFK reference, you know they mean business.

I implore you, NY times, don't use JFK's name in vain. The guy on the desk next to me wears them on a daily basis, and he's no JFK. In fact the other night, when he and I were here late, I busted him picking his nose. When you start profiling people who wear briefs over their trousers, then I'll be all yours.

Until next time,

Girl