What About Professional Bowlers? Or are they just too ugly to count.

From Nicholas Biddle, arguably my favorite writer/blogger, who as of late has graced me with his esteemed counsel:

"Rule no. 45 on guys you should never marry or enter into Significant Other status with. Guys who play squash. I have never met any guy who played squashed who wasn't an asshole. Including my best friend growing up who became a druggy, but he was only an asshole because he was self-destructive, and otherwise a good dude. Honestly, they don't even let you on the squash court unless you cut your wrists and show your blue hued blood or can otherwise verify that you do in fact own a pair of Nantucket reds.

My uncle belongs to the University Club and it's my place to swim of last resort. Anyways, one time I went and there was some pro-am squash tourney going in and it was packed. All these people, who should have been at home with their kids and/or wives who they never get to see because they work long hours and then spend the rest of their time playing squash at the University Club, were ogling this pro-am tournament action. Seriously. It was a clusterfuck of asshole. Just navigating the pomposity in the air was difficult. Plus dudes, old dudes especially, walk around naked and shake your hand in that state and act like it's normal. Another thing I don't get. I'm ok with the male form, I just want to have a conversation with a nude guy. Ever. Just like I don't want to talk a dude in the urinal next to me."


There we have it ladies, from the source. If your man plays squash, and he just happens to have meetings that start at 6 in the morning, and that's his excuse for not getting busy in the A.M. (ok, let's be honest, or the P.M.).…well, what he’s really doing is walking around naked hitting on my dear friend Nicholas Biddle at the University Club.

Consider yourselves forewarned.