Also, If Anyone Knows of Where I Can Get a Tan-Thru Hypothermic Bubble, I'd Be Quite Indebted

I hereby tender apologies for my relative absence this week; my time having been mired by the ongoing construction of a biohazard suit that I hope, in vain, will protect me from the monsters sure to be washing ashore Long Island this weekend:

This eagle/turtle/dog/rat hybrid been haunting my dreams to the extent that I've launched a tireless campaign to find its origin. I've spent hours of my life doing so; hours I will certainly never get back, hours I could have spent paying attention on countless conference calls in which I instead chose to mumble 'mmhmm, those numbers sound about right', only to return to my 'Montauk Monster' research.

Questioning people on the issue who have no authority whatever in the Science of Scary Monsters has become somewhat of a pastime. My dear chum Bess made a valiant attempt at getting the dialogue started, but all I've deduced from that conversation is that the carcass may be partially Jimmy Cayne-sian in origin; also, that 'it's not a fucking turtle, asshat." I'm also on a quest to understand what asshat means, but that all just seems minor in comparison.

Back to sowing...