Yuppie Angst

Dear Big Brother Big Sister of Manhattan,

Thanks for your rejection note. I totally understand that you are way overstaffed with Big Brothers and Big Sisters in Manhattan- I mean, how could you not be, right? People here are so goddamn giving with their time and energy, not to mention they're practically dying to have kids of their own, you can just see it on their faces. I'll bet I inappropriately brushed up against at least 16 Big Brothers at that bar last night alone. I hope their little "siblings" appreciate their company as much as they would have appreciated mine.

I can't help feeling hurt though. I would have made a great big sister- I even had a whole list of things planned for my little Juanita to do. I was going to take her to Indochine to try the amok cambodienne, then to Pegu to try this amazing cocktail I love- it has raw egg in it, but kids aren't really at risk for salmonella anymore right? That's what I thought.

Another of my ideas was to take her to get Japanese thermal reconditioning on her hair. In my dreams it was sort of nappy, but like 6 hours later i imagined her walking out of the salon looking fierce as all hell. These were my short term goals for little Juanita, and you just tore them away from me. It isn't fair.

It wouldn't hurt as much if the Soho Partnership had ever returned my calls. But I guess someone who has already been promoted twice in the span of a 3 year career isn't really fit to advise the homeless on breaking into the working world. I totally see where they are coming from!

Before that, it was brutal rejection from Gods Love we Deliver. Apparently the only love they want delivered is at the hands of Susan Sarandon. I guess I'm not famous enough to be of service- I should really work on that.

Anyway, this isn't about my utter failure to get a charity to let me fill the gaping void dug by my utterly shallow existence, this is about us, and where your rejection has left me.

I just thought you should know.

Its left me actually considering attendance to the New York Public Library Young Lions benefit. In fact, this Saturday, I'll be accompanying my newly acquired plus one to Ralph Lauren to have his tuxedo fitted. No matter that the price of said tuxedo could feed all of Kenya for a year, or that my gown could buy Zimbabwe in its entirety for that matter. He says it seems like the sort of charity we should be supporting, and after you dumped me on my fucking ass BBBS, I sort of totally agree with him.

Even if the NYPL's sole purpose (literally, I've never heard of anyone actually renting so much as a bloody book there) is to serve as a beautiful backdrop to the fashion week tents.

So Fuck You.

Cordially,

Girl